


Sweet Danger

by ffairyy



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Hoseok is needy n lonely and Minhyuk too curious for his own good, M/M, Smut, a tiny bit of angst maybe?!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-28
Updated: 2017-09-19
Packaged: 2018-11-06 03:10:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11027376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ffairyy/pseuds/ffairyy
Summary: Hoseok was all warm eyes, soft voice, sweet words and Minhyuk figured he was the worst kind of danger there was.





	1. ONE

_♥ It was difficult to accept that this wasn’t what they should be doing at this time, in this place, or maybe at all really ♥_

 

Minhyuk had an open mind about most things.  
  
He could proudly say that he wasn’t afraid to try new things and he’d been told he was good at going with the flow.  
 His mom used to tell him it would get him in trouble some day. His teachers told him he needed to learn to follow the rules if he didn’t want to fall on his face. Rules weren’t really his thing, but he tried.  
And he didn’t exactly keep a list of things he’d fucked up in his life and wasn’t eager to be reminded of all the embarrassing moments that could have easily been avoided if he wasn’t the way he was.  
Things he shouldn’t have said, things he definitely shouldn’t have done.  
There were people who messed up with style.  Teenagers who had incredible stories to tell about late night adventures with their friends. Adventures that included alcohol and borderline dangerous ideas and more often than not they ended in the emergency room or at the police station.  
  
When Minhyuk fucked up it was more subtle and usually he was all alone with the shame.  
It included trying out things just because curiosity got the best of him and saying yes to things that had a big fat warning sign on them.

Shin Hoseok had had one of those warning signs on him from the day they met. Glowing red with the word “Danger” on it.  
Something had always told Minhyuk that he’d be trouble, but he could never tell what kind. There was a general feeling of “something about him is different” but Minhyuk just brushed it off.  
The warning signs seemed to multiply over the years and it was ridiculous.  
Minhyuk had accepted that there was something about Hoseok that made him curious. That made it hard to look away sometimes and that made a spark in the back of his head come to live.  
  
But Hoseok wasn’t the type of man to be afraid of. He was soft spoken, hard working, emotional. More often than not he relished in praise and worship, could get shy to ask for it and looked adorable when he did. Was caring and kind towards his friends and family, overly critical of himself sometimes.  
The only sign this guy should have floating over his head was a “Fragile: Handle With Care” one.  
  
Their life as idols was overwhelming and beautiful and so damn weird. Minhyuk didn’t know if he’d ever get used to the rush of their schedules, the fastness of it all, the dreamlike and ridiculousness of it all.  
On one hand he wanted to have fun with his best friends by his side and live in the moment, on the other, he wanted to make some kind of plan for the future. Something secure, something realistic and stable.  
Something that didn’t include being told what to do and say all day long. To follow his own heart for once.  
And he knew how dangerous it could be to get too comfortable and to take things for granted. Had seen it all happen to other artists left and right. The ones that never made it, the ones that got thrown away the moment they showed weakness. The ones that flew too high and too close to the sun and burned themselves tragically.  
Finding a solid middle ground of it all was hard work and they had to be careful while they enjoyed the adrenaline on stage and the spotlights that could make you feel like a king and a zoo animal at the same time.  
  
They had each other though, so it would be fine. Minhyuk didn’t want to imagine being a solo artist in this industry. He had his six boys that were simultaneously his own little world in this slightly scarier, slightly bigger and colder world.  
There were things that only the six of them shared that nobody else in the whole world could touch and it gave them power and security to have that. The warm and save haven of their friendship.  
  
The day Minhyuk realized just how much the harmony of their little group meant for their futures and career was also the day he realized what the word Danger above Hoseok meant.  


They had been drinking, it wasn’t the first time.  
There wasn’t even really something to celebrate, Kihyun argued. But Minhyuk would find something to celebrate. Wasn’t life itself worth celebrating? It definitely was if it meant they’d be given a few more hours of freedom and a few more bottles of beer and whisky and whatever the green stuff was that Hyungwon was sipping at.  
  
The TV was on but Minhyuk didn’t really pay attention. Kihyun and Changkyun looked at pictures of their last comeback stage on an i-pad, zooming in to extra embarrassing close ups of them all and giggling.  
Hyunwoo actually watched the documentary about the Pacific Ocean or at least he stared in the general direction of it while Jooheon was cuddled up to his side, more asleep than awake.  
 Jooheon couldn’t drink for shit and Minhyuk was pretty sure the half empty bottle of beer in his hand was also his first one.  
  
Minhyuk was jammed on the couch between Hyunwoo on one side and Hoseok on the other. How did he always end up in that damn muscle sandwich?  
It was too hot in the room and no offense, but he’d prefer if Hyunwoo’s sweat stayed on his own body thankyouverymuch.  
Hoseok had been quiet all evening, sipping away on his drinks, a gross smelling mixture of cola and whiskey in his hand, a tipsy blush on his nose and cheeks.  
  
“That’s a beautiful fucking fish,” Hoseok said, nodding to the TV.  
 For a moment Minhyuk thought he might burst into tears because of it, because it wouldn’t have been the first time, but he didn’t. He just took another sip of his drink and leaned onto Minhyuk, resting his head on his shoulder.  
“Imagine being this pretty and breathing under water and all...  but like, at the end of the day you’re still a damn fish. That’s tragic.”  
  
Minhyuk started to worry a little at this point, but Hyunwoo chuckled quietly on his other side and Changkyun raised his voice.  
“Maybe you should go to sleep, Hyung.”

“No, but think about it,” Hoseok slurred and lifted his head off Minhyuk’s shoulder with struggle. “When you’re a fish everyone wants to eat you and they don’t care how pretty you are.”  
  
“True,” Jooheon mumbled.  
  
“Deep shit,” Changkyun said and went back to looking at his phone.

“Minhyukie,” Hoseok pinched him in the side. “They’re not taking me seriously.”  
  
“They’re drunk,” Minhyuk sighed. “Like you.”  
  
“Am not,” he said.  
  
“Yeah you are.” He gently put an arm around Hoseok, pulling him closer. Minhyuk thought of the Danger sign for a moment, but he just wanted to make sure Hoseok fell softly if he lost his strength.

Hyunwoo was the first to go to sleep, dragging a whining Jooheon with him and probably tucking him into bed.  
Hyungwon was the next to leave, already complaining about the alcohol and how it wasn’t worth it, as he went into the bathroom.  
Hoseok had fallen asleep on Minhyuk’s shoulder half an hour ago, so even if he wanted to go to bed, it was pretty much impossible.  
Like with a cat that fell asleep on your tummy. He’d rather cancel all his plans and needs just so he wouldn’t wake him up.  
  
“We should do this properly next time,” Kihyun spoke up, quietly. “Have a proper dinner and music instead of just drinking on the couch. It’s kinda sad.”  
  
“It’s perfect like this,” Changkyun groaned, stretching his arms and preparing to stand up.  
Minhyuk felt a little betrayed when the two of them said good night and didn’t even suggest helping him out of his situation.  
  
So he sat there until the last of noises in the dorm vanished and the only light in the room came from the TV. He spent 20 minutes watching a cringe-worthy teleshopping channel because the remote lay far away on the floor and he still refused to move even a little bit.  
He didn’t really pay attention though.  
He looked at Hoseok, at his chest moving calmly and his alcohol breath going slowly, his lips slightly opened.  
It felt warm and intimate and so familiar. They were close, yes. They’d gotten closer after Minhyuk decided that the damn warning signs didn’t mean anything and that his feeling was out of place and that Hoseok couldn’t possibly mean danger for him.  
  
His soft cheeks were still tinted pink, but Minhyuk wondered if he was cold in that shirt with the short sleeves that looked ridiculously tight on Hoseok’s shoulders.  
Minhyuk was grateful for him, so grateful. It was a warmth so different from the other boys.  
Not more or less, just different. It seemed to wash through his whole body sometimes, turning to heat sometimes, tingling sometimes and he liked it so so much.  
  
After half an hour he was getting tired and he considered just falling asleep there with Hoseok on his side, because it seemed so much more inviting than to get up and walk to the cold bed-sheets of his own bed. Hoseok smelled good, too.  
 It was perfect and Minhyuk got drowsy.  
Just when he closed his eyes in defeat, Hoseok opened his.  
He started moving and stretched his arms where he sat. Didn’t sit up and didn’t lift his head though.  
  
“What time is it?”  He groaned in that raspy voice he always had after sleeping.  
  
“Not sure,” Minhyuk said. “Around 4am?”  
  
“Shit,” Hoseok mumbled. ”Why didn’t you go to bed?”  
  
“Don’t know. Didn’t wanna wake you up.”  
  
Now Hoseok sat up a little and he looked at him for a moment.  
“Thank you,” he smiled softly.  
 He pulled one foot up to the sofa and stretched his arms again, now above his head and screwing his face up.  
“Urgh. Still tipsy.”  
  
“You should go to sleep,” Minhyuk said. Not that he wanted him to. It had something comforting and weirdly secretive to sit awake at 4am in the darkness of their dorm. Like time waited for their heartbeats to catch up again.  
  
Hoseok just grunted and then he leaned back into the sofa, pulling his legs close, wrapping his arms around them, having trouble to keep his tired eyes open.  
Minhyuk wasn’t very sober either. When he moved, the room swirled a little. He still wanted to move closer to Hoseok though, just because he looked so damn alone over there.  
  
“Sometimes I’m pathetic,” Hoseok said but stopped himself. He stared at the moving pictures of the TV for a while and the lights reflected on his face. A hectic play that Minhyuk followed fascinated.  
  
“Why?” he asked.  
  
“Maybe it’s the booze,” Hoseok sighed. “But I’m so lonely lately. I haven’t been kissed in forever and... I don’t know what I’m saying, I’m sorry.”  
  
There it was. The warmth in Minhyuk’s body that really had no business there.    
  
“It’s not pathetic,” he said. Carefully. He wasn’t sure what he was saying either. “Everyone gets lonely.”

“Even you, Minhyukie?”  
  
“Yeah,” he tried to smile but it felt weird. “Why wouldn’t I?”  
  
“I don’t know,” Hoseok chuckled a little. “You’re so much cooler than me. And stronger. Maybe you just don’t think about kissing at all.”

“I...I don’t know,” he said. “Not that often, but sure. Sometimes.”  
  
Now Hoseok laughed a little louder and shook his head.  
  
“I’m sorry, this is stupid,” he sat up from the couch. “I should really go to bed.”  
  
Minhyuk didn’t say or do anything. Wondered if there was anything to say to make him stay a little longer, but Hoseok had already stood up and tried not to stumble.  
Tried to see clear. Smiled a little smile that looked sad and a bit humiliated.

“Don’t forget to drink some water,” he told Minhyuk. “It helps with the hangover.”  
  
“You too.”  
  
“Good night then?”  
  
“Yeah, Good night.”  
  
Hoseok stumbled back to his room and when the door closed Minhyuk took a breath that he had needed for minutes.  
He let himself sink back into the cushion.  
Minhyuk nearly wanted to laugh at himself for being so damn naive.  
Hoseok was gone for barely five minutes, but Minhyuk missed him. Wanted to sit there with him a little longer, just the two of them, talking and laughing in the dark.  
He wanted to hold his hand and he wanted to... kiss him.  
So badly it nearly hurt.  
  
And a part of him wanted to blame it on the alcohol, but in that moment he knew it had always been there, and now Hoseok had pulled it to the surface.  
  
Minhyuk sat there a little longer, waiting for his heart to stop racing and his hands to stop tingling and for the thoughts in his head to go the fuck to sleep, because they really shouldn’t be awake this early in the morning.  
  
-

Minhyuk couldn’t figure out if Hoseok knew what he had done to him, but once he’d imagined kissing him, he couldn’t stop.  
 It was a curse, because it was everywhere and the more he tried to get rid of it, the more space it took up in his brain.  
And Hoseok had gotten so kissable. Maybe he’d always been. Minhyuk wasn’t sure anymore.

His lips were inviting and the way he licked over them when he was concentrating or the way he bit them when he was nervous just didn’t help.  
  
When he hadn’t thought about kissing in general for most of his days, now it was a relief if he went half an hour without thinking about it. About kissing Hoseok in particular.  
He had a strong feeling that Hoseok had no clue what he’d done and that for him it was barely worth remembering.  
It had been just his sensitive, honest self, telling him about his desires like it was nothing. That’s just the way Hoseok was, but Minhyuk couldn’t forget about it.  
  
He started to see his neediness in everything he did, as if he’d unlocked a new level in a game and the new features included knowing that Hoseok was lonely.  
The way he sought touches from the boys, not only when he was sad or anxious, but all the time.  
 Did he realize he was doing it?

The way he revelled in compliments and how they made him blush and smile in a way only Hoseok could.  
Was there any way to un-notice these things? Because they started to drive Minhyuk insane over the weeks.  
He slowly understood that danger wasn’t an understatement at all. That Hoseok might as well be the worst kind of danger there was. Because Minhyuk had always been incredibly bad at withstanding temptation. Call it his curiousness, call it recklessness? If there was something that sparked his interest, he had to try it.  
But with Hoseok it wasn’t that easy.

He knew he had to deal with this on his own. Wait for it to go away, trying to concentrate on different things. The responsible, professional, mature part of his brain knew there was no way in the world he could act on those desires.  
But there was a tiny childish, curious, adventurous part of his brain that told him he needed nothing in the world more.  
 That it wouldn’t be the end of the world if he tried.  
  
He thought he had that part under control, but he couldn’t deny that he spent more time around Hoseok.  
 Even more than they already did. And he couldn’t deny that he was testing boundaries, checking Hoseok’s reaction after risky touches.  
And in a way, Hoseok definitely understood. But in a way, he seemed incredibly oblivious, too.  
  
Minhyuk liked holding his hand a little longer than necessary. Liked to wait for the moment where it would’ve gotten awkward with anyone else and liked to keep it up just a little longer.  
Let the butterflies rebel and checked the way Hoseok looked at him in embarrassed confusion.  
Minhyuk loved playing.  
Loved seeing what it did to him to imagine Hoseok in ways he probably shouldn’t. Loved flirting with him and seeing what happened. Hoseok was so easy to flirt with. So easily embarrassed, so quickly shy and flustered, it was so much fun, but also addictive.  
  
One Friday evening the childish voice in his head was extra loud and tempting. They’d spent the last few hours recording and Hoseok was the last one to sing his parts. Minhyuk could’ve gone home with the two youngest, because they’d only just finished, but the voice in his head won that round. He stayed to wait for Hoseok, just because.  
He told himself it was what a good friend would do, but he knew being a good friend didn’t include waiting for more opportunities to play a little. To be alone with him. To see what would happen.  
  
The producer they worked with left the studio after an hour and Minhyuk politely thanked him and said goodbye. He waited a few more minutes for Hoseok to come out of the door, too, but he didn’t.  
If he listened closely, he could hear his voice, practicing, even after all the work he’d done.

Minhyuk stood up and knocked at the door. When he didn’t hear Hoseok saying anything, he just walked in.  
Hoseok sat on a chair behind the glass wall, sheets of paper in his hand and was so lost in singing the same line over and over again; he didn’t even look up when Minhyuk walked in.  
He wore a big blue sweater, had the sleeves rolled up as if they were in the way when he worked. Had a snapback on and his blonde hair tucked neatly under it.  A frustrated expression on his face.  
  
So Minhyuk decided to say hello.  
He pressed a blue button and leaned a little towards the microphone on the workstation.  
“Hyung, you’ve worked enough.”  
  
Hoseok nearly fell of his chair in surprise and Minhyuk could only imagine his screeching.  
When he slowly calmed down, a defeated expression spread on his face.  
He silently walked out of the box and joined Minhyuk on the sofa of the recording room.

“I can’t get it right,” he sighed. “I fucked up everything today.”

“Bullshit,” Minhyuk said. “What you call fucking up-”  
  
“I know, but it feels like that, you know,” Hoseok said. “It feels like I can do better, but i don’t know how.”  
  
“You don’t have to figure it out right now.”  
  
“I know,” Hoseok mumbled. “It’s just frustrating.”  
  
A wave of sympathy rolled through Minhyuk. He knew the frustration. Knew the long hours of work and the critical voice of the people they worked with. Knew the disappointment when he couldn’t live up to their and even worse his own expectations.  
 But Hoseok was a fucking gem and he had no damn clue.  
  
“Stop for today, Hyung,” he said softly. “Take a break. Try again next time.”  
  
Hoseok nodded, but didn’t make any attempts to stand up or leave.  
  
Minhyuk ignored the voice in his head that got so damn excited over how alone they were, how perfectly incredibly alone and away from the others. How empty the house had to be and how quiet the room was. How there was just Hoseok next to him, transpiring a familiar neediness.

“Give me a moment,” Hoseok said and smiled at Minhyuk in an apologetic way that made Minhyuk’s heart beat faster.  
  
“As long as you want, Hyung.”  
  
He wondered if he was the only one who felt the thick tension in the room, or if maybe, Hoseok knew it was there and wanted to stay in it a little longer.  
  
Minhyuk scolded himself the moment his hand moved.  
He reached out to find Hoseok’s hand where it lay on his thigh. Took it in his and squeezed lightly.  
Hoseok looked at him again, but didn’t smile now.  
It wasn’t untypical to hold their friend’s hand. But it was untypical to not let go the way Minhyuk did, even after a few long moments. To draw little circles on the back of Hoseok’s hand the way he did. Too intimate and too careful.

Hoseok didn’t protest.  
His breathing changed only a little, but Minhyuk noticed.

“You’re doing so well, Hyung,” he heard himself say. “Don’t worry so much.”

There was the humble smile again, the little blush. Hoseok looked away, down to their hands, but Minhyuk wasn’t done yet.  
Needed him to believe it, too.  
  
He reached out with his free hand, gently lifted Hoseok’s chin with two fingers, and made him look at him again.  
  
“Okay?” he asked.  
Hoseok nodded.  
  
And Minhyuk moved before he had time to think it through.  
He just gave in.  
Slowly leaned in a little closer to Hoseok, watched him watch him. Didn’t let go of his chin.  
And planted a soft kiss to his lips. Right onto them. Like it was something they just did sometimes. Only it really, really wasn’t.

He pulled away just as slowly and Hoseok looked at him. Minhyuk was about to remember where he was, who he was, and what he’d just done, but Hoseok didn’t let him.  
  
He looked at him with such need in his eyes, an expression that spelled out the word please and made Minhyuk’s stomach drop a little.  
His glance fell down to Minhyuk’s lips and back up to his eyes. He even dared to lick his lips where Minhyuk had kissed them.  
  
“Let’s just,” Hoseok said. “Just this one time.”  
  
“Yeah,” Minhyuk agreed and he had no idea who of them initiated it this time, but the next moment they were kissing. Both of them now. Hoseok’s lips were desperate on his and Minhyuk’s hand had found Hoseok’s waist, holding him and letting Hoseok do the same.  
It was too right to be wrong.  
 There was not even a trace left of the responsible part of his brain. It all just got slowly replaced and taken in by Hoseok’s taste, his smell, his tongue brushing Minhyuk’s curiously.  
He swore he could taste the arousal on Hoseok’s tongue, when the kiss got more daring.  
  
The room was so quiet. The only thing he could hear were the wet little noises they made and Hoseok’s quick, unsteady breathing that made Minhyuk grow a little harder in his jeans.  
Hoseok caught his lips between his teeth and Minhyuk nearly moaned right into his mouth.  
It was just the right amount of way too much to handle and he didn’t want to ever pull away.

But he did at some point. Leaving Hoseok confused and wanting. His face ridiculously open to read and Minhyuk’s heart racing in his chest.  
  
“Are you okay?” he brought out.

“Yeah,” Hoseok breathed. “I’m sorry.”  
  
“Don’t be,” Minhyuk said. Breathless.  
It was difficult to accept that this wasn’t a dream and also difficult to accept that it wasn’t what they should be doing at this time, in this place, or maybe at all really.  
Hoseok didn’t look satisfied either.  
 Looked like he’d be more than ready to jump right back into it if Minhyuk wanted. Ready to be kissed a little longer, deeper, touched a little more.  
  
Minhyuk hated it, because yeah, there was nothing holding him back physically. They had time, had the room to themselves and Hoseok looked so willing.  
But doubt was creeping into his conscience and he just couldn’t. Shouldn’t.  
Even though he wanted nothing more than to taste him again, he pulled away a little, sat up straight. Watched Hoseok put himself back together, too.

“Let’s go home?” Hoseok asked and left plenty room for protest. But somehow Minhyuk agreed. He helped Hoseok up by his hand, just to prove that things weren’t too awkward to do that and they silently left the studio.

-  
Minhyuk lay awake that night.  
Tried not to think about the fact that he’d jerked off thinking of Hoseok before he went to bed.  
In the bathroom, under the warm stream of the shower, with images of Hoseok splayed out on the bed under him, his shirt raked up, a tent in his boxer briefs, waiting for Minhyuk.  It was pathetic, really.  
It wasn’t like he’d never imagined a guy like this, but his own bandmate? His friend? How had he hit rock bottom this fast?  
How had he cum so fast, too?  
  
When he lay in the warm sheets of his bed, when he wasn’t painfully hard anymore, he was back to reliving the kiss.  
How was he supposed to move on from this?  
  
It really didn’t help that Hoseok was an illegally good kisser.


	2. TWO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tbh this is mostly porn ://

_♥ How had Minhyuk gone so long without hearing his voice break like this? ♥_  
  
  


It would’ve been so much easier if things had just gotten awkward between them. But they didn’t. Not really.  
More than that they got closer on a level they shouldn’t. It was nice to share this little secret that nobody else knew about. Whenever Hoseok looked at him, Minhyuk could be sure they were thinking of the same thing.  
The butterflies were a little more aggressive now that they had been found out.  
At least now Minhyuk couldn’t act like he wasn’t interested and Hoseok couldn’t act like he was oblivious to it all.  
If they’d been any less stupid or reckless or lonely or whatever it was they were, maybe it could’ve stayed the onetime thing they had called it that night.  
  
Minhyuk stayed strong for a while. He settled for jerking off a little more often than usually, now the same recurring images of Hoseok helping him.  
Settled for looking at Hoseok from afar and a tiny bit of hope in his stomach that his soft smiles maybe were meant to be flirting.  
Hoseok didn’t fight it as much.  
  
Whenever they sat on the couch, watching TV, he was next to him and boy, it was difficult to concentrate when Hoseok smelled this good. When his side pressed close to Minhyuk’s and sometimes his hand found his under the blanket.  
Hoseok was a little hesitant sometimes, but he was even more in need of some touches and it drove Minhyuk crazy when he spent 20 minutes just dragging his fingertips along the veins of Minhyuk’s arm, hidden from the others.  
  
It was two weeks after their kiss when the inviting gestures and flirting didn’t seem to be enough for Hoseok anymore.  
And Minhyuk could only withstand so much temptation. It wasn’t fair.  
  
Half of the group was already in bed, knocked out after a long day of dance practice and not one, but two meetings with their managers to organize their schedules.  
Changkyun and Jooheon were the only other two left, Jooheon spread over half of the couch, nearly passed out with his head on Changkyun’s lap and his feet on Minhyuk’s.  
Hoseok was sat on his other side, a thin wool blanket over his lap that made Minhyuk incredibly excited for some reason.  
  
Changkyun lazily scrolled through social media on his phone, probably reading comments about the band.  
They watched a romantic drama that Minhyuk couldn’t really follow, because he hadn’t paid attention since Hoseok decided to play with his hand again.  
  
“Wait, isn’t he immortal?” Changkyun looked up from his phone with drawn together eyebrows. The love interest of the girl had just been hit by a car.  
  
“He’s not anymore,” Jooheon said. “Cause he kissed the love of his life, duh. Didn’t you pay attention?”  
  
“No, because it didn’t make sense from the beginning.”

“You don’t get it. It makes sense on an emotional level.”  
  
Minhyuk wasn’t sure if he should concentrate on the drama, on the youngest’ bickering or on Hoseok’s slow breathing next to him and the way he played with his fingers under the blanket. Sending shivers down Minhyuk’s spine over and over again.  
His brain sent him hazy images of Hoseok and him, alone, away from the others, preferably making out like their lives depended on it.  
  
He tried to stay calm, but everything in him ached to just give up the last bit of his responsibility and give Hoseok what he’d lowkey been begging for since their kiss. Some touching, some kissing?  
To press him against the wall and feel him up the way he dreamt of every time he jerked off?  
Whatever Hoseok needed, Minhyuk wanted to deliver.  
  
Just when he thought he could handle his thoughts, Changkyun stretched his back and announced he’d go to sleep.  
Minhyuk’s heart was beating faster at the prospect of being alone with Hoseok soon. In this state of mind. With Hoseok even more reckless than usually.  
When he looked at him, Hoseok shot him a look that was dripping with need. There was something daring in it, too. As if he said ‘if you stay a little longer, I’m all yours’.  
Jooheon dozed off and Minhyuk wasn’t sure if he should curse or thank him for it. He was snoring silently with his feet curled up on the couch.  
  
Hoseok’s features looked soft in the dark and Minhyuk didn’t give his hand permission when it reached out to stroke a strand of blonde hair out of Hoseok’s face.  
Hoseok closed his eyes for a moment, revelling in the touch.  
He smiled at him and Minhyuk tried to swallow down the butterflies that came up in him.  
  
Hoseok changed his position a little, sat sideways on the couch now, his back to Jooheon and his warm eyes looking at Minhyuk.  
  
He leant closer and seemed to think it through for a moment.  
When Minhyuk thought he’d kiss him, he didn’t.  
 Moved away a little, away from his lips and to his jaw instead. Placed a soft kiss there and waited for Minhyuk to protest.  
But he was just trying to endure the heat in his stomach and the tingling in his arms.  
Hoseok kissed him again, down his jaw, leaving a faint wet feeling there while he moved down to his neck.  
Minhyuk nearly groaned when one of Hoseok’s hands started stroking into his thigh, from the outside to the inside of them, making him open his legs thoughtlessly. Just a little bit.  
Stroking up and down, just stopping at the danger zone, but coming incredibly close. Minhyuk felt himself jerk in his pants, growing harder with every touch.  
But Hoseok didn’t let go.  
  
He sucked on his neck so lightly, Minhyuk could barely make out the touch, but it made his heart race. The way Hoseok smelled like a mixture of sweat and cologne, a little bit of hair product maybe. Whatever it was, Minhyuk wanted to drown in it.  
In the way Hoseok’s lips ghosted over the sensitive skin under his ear, down his throat, sucking a little kiss here and there.  
  
“Should i stop?” Hoseok breathed the words against his neck, so quiet, Minhyuk wasn’t sure if he heard him right.  
  
“No,” he brought out.  
He stole a look over to where Jooheon was sleeping soundly and swallowed. He wasn’t a light sleeper, but that position didn’t look comfortable. He’d stopped snoring, too.  
It was terrifying, but Hoseok made him so hard and wanting. The way he played his little game, trusting Minhyuk to keep an eye on Jooheon. Not even looking behind himself once; completely lost in torturing Minhyuk with his sweet kisses.  
  
“Minhyukie,” Hoseok nearly moaned his name in the back of his throat. “Wanna touch you.”  
  
It was difficult to talk, difficult to move and so difficult to concentrate on anything other than the hand on his thigh, soft lips on his neck.  
  
“Go... ahead,” he breathed.  
  
But Hoseok played shy. Maybe he thought it through again, while his fingertips ghosted over Minhyuk’s sweatpants, rubbing little circles on the inside of them, wandering higher.  
Minhyuk closed his eyes for a moment.  
Then Hoseok’s fingers crossed the line. He carefully, softly dragged them over Minhyuk’s bulge, where it lay hard and untouched in his pants. He wanted to moan, but forbad himself to.  
  
Hoseok looked at him for a moment, a tiny spark in his eyes, while he felt him up, still so teasingly, not hard enough, not tight enough.  
He just explored and cupped him, making Minhyuk jerk a little under his touch.

Then he was also back to sucking on his neck and Minhyuk tried to control his breathing. He glanced over to Jooheon and nearly missed the moment he turned around a little.  
Minhyuk quickly shoved Hoseok’s hand away, made him let go off his neck, too.  
Hoseok pulled away and sat up straight, a bit away from Minhyuk. They both looked at Jooheon and the boy wriggled around for a moment, before he groaned and opened his eyes.  
Minhyuk’s head felt hot and he tried to look at him casually, but his heart just wouldn’t calm down.  
  
“What time is it?” Jooheon asked with a raspy voice.  
  
“You’ve only been gone for half an hour,” Minhyuk said all matter of fact. His voice stronger than he thought.  
  
Jooheon nodded and sat up on the couch, squinting at the moving lights of the TV and he didn’t pay the two of them much attention. Just yawned and said good night.  
When he left the room, Minhyuk let go of a long breath.

“Shit, Hyung,” he just panted.  
  
“Yeah,” Hoseok breathed, but didn’t seem very sorry or regretful.  
They sat there for a short moment and Hoseok’s cheeks were painted in a pastel pink color, his eyes shy all of a sudden.  
  
“You wanna go to bed?” Hoseok asked carefully. Fidgeting on the blanket in his lap, avoiding Minhyuk’s gaze.  
  
“No,” Minhyuk sighed. “Come here.”  
He patted his thighs and the way Hoseok’s face lit up was priceless. He looked like a kid that was allowed to stay up half an hour longer and it was adorable.  
Minhyuk readjusted on the couch and Hoseok climbed into his lap silently, straddling him, knees on both side of Minhyuk and looking down on him with a thin smile.  
When he sat down on Minhyuk’s bulge it made him hungry for more and Hoseok seemed to feel the same way.  
  
Minhyuk held his waist while Hoseok leaned down to kiss him. On the lips this time, not wasting time with teasing anymore, but pressing close to him, tucking on his lips and following Minhyuk’s lead quickly when he teased Hoseok’s lips open.  
Kissing him was so addicting, he could’ve done it forever. It made him forget about the background noise of the TV, where some annoying commercial was on, made him forget about the others in the dorm or the time of night.  
  
Hoseok circled his hips down on him in such a perfect way, dragged his ass over his bulge and moved his hips just right.  
Hoseok’s breathing was unsteady and fast, his tongue needy and curious. Minhyuk dared to slip his hands under Hoseok’s shirt, over his toned muscles and feeling the way they moved.  
His body was so compact and his skin soft, it was a lethal mixture.  
  
“Minhyukie,” Hoseok breathed out between deep kisses, trying to taste the last bit of him.  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“Touch me, too.”  
Every word that fell from Hoseok’s lips sounded like he was begging.  As if Minhyuk would ever deny a request like this. Long forgotten were doubts and clear thoughts when Shin Hoseok riled him up like that, looking coy and desperate at the same damn time.  
  
And he was hard, too. Stopped moving and moaned a little when Minhyuk cupped his bulge over his sweatpants.  
He felt perfect in his hand. And the way he looked down on Minhyuk, his lips parted in a lethal way, swallowing and urging him to go on.  
  
“When’s the last time you’ve been laid, Hyung?” Minhyuk asked, stupidly. He just couldn’t help it. Wanted to be the only one to touch Hoseok like this. Wanted to be the best at least.  
  
“Can’t even remember,” Hoseok groaned, but he was a bad liar. Minhyuk just smiled and helped Hoseok out of his sweatpants, watched him awkwardly wriggling out of them.  
“How about you?” Hoseok asked.

“This morning in the shower,” he grinned, curling his fingers around Hoseok’s cock, only the thin fabric of his briefs between them.  He could feel his veins and there was wetness around his tip.  


“Your own hand doesn’t count,” Hoseok breathed. Moaned when Hoseok let his thumb roll over the sticky fabric of his briefs. Right over his tip.  
God, he sounded good like this. How had Minhyuk gone so long without hearing his voice break like this, just because of him? Bucking his hips into Minhyuk’s fist.  
  
There was something about having Hoseok grind down on him in just his briefs. Something so ridiculously hot about the fact that they did this in their living room, where any of the boys could walk in on them at any moment. Something immature and slightly possessive in the way Minhyuk wanted them to see Hoseok like that and wanted them to know that it was all his doing. But he pushed the thought away.  
Hoseok’s voice brought him back to the moment. Back to his hard on in his hand and the way he tried to get more friction out of it by moving his hips slightly.  
  
“Come down here,” he said softly, making Hoseok lean down and connect their lips again, then their tongues. He wanted to concentrate fully on Hoseok, wanted to give him what he needed so much.  
They kissed sloppily while Minhyuk stroked Hoseok over his briefs, quicker now.  
The more he jerked him off, the more Hoseok lost his concentration in the kiss. His lips were hanging open against Minhyuk’s, his hands grabbing at his shoulders, panting hard.  
  
“I’m close,” he moaned and shuddered a little, but Minhyuk stilled his hand, just to slip it into one of the leg-holes of Hoseok’s briefs and wrap his hand around his bare shaft, stickiness waiting for him around the tip. He moved more smoothly now, even with the restraints around them and Hoseok let a moan slip his tongue that was dangerously loud. His fingers curled into Minhyuk’s shoulders and he looked at him with desperation in his eyes when Minhyuk stroked him over the edge.  
He came in his briefs and Minhyuk could feel the warm fluid on his hand. He had to bite his lips not to groan.  
Hoseok’s thighs stuttered and his mouth was open, catching for breath, moaning Minhyuk’s name in a way that would forever be etched in his mind.  
Hoseok needed a few moments to come down and he let Minhyuk slowly stroke his cock until it got too much and his body jerked a little, overstimulated.  
  
“Hyung,” Minhyuk brought out in fascination more than anything. Hoseok was breathtaking like this, trying not to fall apart and he’d like to see him struggle a little more. Would like to see what happens if he kept up the stimulation. But right now he just waited for Hoseok to find back his senses.  
  
“Is this what you needed, Hyung?”  
  
“Yeah, but” Hoseok breathed, licking his lips, his face flush and a hazy expression in his eyes. “there’s something else I need, Minhyukie.”  
Something about Hoseok’s expression made him swallow. Did he know how stunning he looked all fucked out and slightly sweaty?  
  
“What is it?”  
  
“I, uhm,” Hoseok stumbled over his words and interrupted himself by leaning down to kiss at Minhyuk’s neck a little more, maybe gathering confidence.  
“I’ve never given a blowjob before...” he said, his words muffled against Minhyuk’s skin and Minhyuk shuddered and he swore to god it was difficult not to just cum there and then.

-

 

Minhyuk had it all under control.  
He swore he did; not that anyone asked.  
Because when he fucked up, he liked to fuck up quietly with nobody noticing.  
And yeah it was kinda bad that he jerked off his bandmate when everyone else was asleep.  
 And yeah, it might not have been the best idea to let Hoseok suck him off that night, especially when his lips looked like that, all plump when they were wrapped around him. The noises he made, humming around Minhyuk’s cock like he’d wanted to taste him for so long.  
  
It wasn’t only Minhyuk’s fault that they were in this general situation now. Hoseok was at least 50% at fault, too. Maybe a little more, because he was the one who knew way too well how to beg and seduce and all the other things he did. As if he had a master in turning Minhyuk on.  
  
It had been a long week after that incident and barely a day went by without them seeking each other’s touches at some point.  
It was the desperate hasty kisses in the breaks of their dance practice, when he had Hoseok pressed against the mirror the moment the others left the room. His knee between Hoseok’s thighs and whispered promises of ‘soon, baby, soon’.  
Maybe he shouldn’t call his bandmate nicknames like this, but honestly what kind of mission impossible ,when Hoseok reacted so cutely. Practically melted under his touch whenever he did it.

Or the one night when Hoseok sent him a message and they met up in the bathroom where Minhyuk finally got to retreat the favour and suck Hoseok off.  
It had been a real hassle to keep him quiet and a part of Minhyuk didn’t want him to be, but he still looked gorgeous with a hand over his mouth, struggling to keep standing against the bathroom door and watching Minhyuk have his way with him down there.  
  
They were right in between two comebacks, so they spent their days practicing and attending one or two fanmeetings.  
To some degree Minhyuk was grateful that they didn’t have more time together, because it was already getting critical how much space Hoseok took up in his head, how often he caught himself not concentrating on the things he had to do.  
  
They sat in the bathroom on a Thursday night and neither of them wanted to go back to bed.  
Minhyuk sat on the floor, leaning against the wall. A few telling white stains on his shirt from where Hoseok had cum a little surprisingly earlier when he’d jerked him off.  Hoseok looked raw and vulnerable in the darkness of the bathroom now, sitting opposite from him on the floor.  
His hair was a mess, his face looked even softer than usually and the only light in the room came from the little lamp above the mirror.  
  
“Hey,” Minhyuk whispered. “Are you okay?”  
  
“Don’t know.”

Minhyuk sat up and crawled over to where Hoseok was hugging his knees now, his head resting on them, seemingly too heavy for his neck.  
When Minhyuk was next to him, he let Hoseok lean onto him instead. Wrapped an arm around him. Ignored the comfortable warmth in his chest and the little tingling.  
  
“What are you thinking about?”  
  
“I’m just scared,” Hoseok mumbled. “You’ll get tired of me at some point.”

Hoseok opened his mouth to say something else, but closed it again. And Minhyuk didn’t know what to do, wasn’t prepared for this. They had never really addressed this whole thing between them and Minhyuk thought it would be different when they did.  
Thought it would be a quick agreement to stop this and go back to normal. But this was different.  
  
“Maybe you’ll get tired of me,” Minhyuk suggested quietly, drawing circles on Hoseok’s shoulder with his thumb. Seeing him like that made his chest feel tight.  
  
Hoseok huffed and tried to sit up, freeing himself from Minhyuk’s arm. Minhyuk let him.  
“That’s the thing,” Hoseok said and oh no, he was close to tears now. “I won’t get tired of you.”

Minhyuk wanted to say the right thing, wanted to say something that would make Hoseok’s features light up again and make him smile at him like he always did.  
He wanted to say the right thing so bad that he ended up saying nothing at all.  
  
“I’m sorry,” Hoseok hurried, taking a deep breath. “Practice was a bit much today.”  
As if that explained the look on his face.  
Hoseok was the first one to stand up from the floor and he smiled a little when he pulled Minhyuk up by his hand.  
  
“Hyung,” Minhyuk said. “Promise to tell me if you wanna stop.”  
  
“Promise.” Hoseok nodded. “You too?”  
  
“Yeah.”  
He pulled Hoseok in a hug and he was so warm. Minhyuk had gotten to know Hoseok’s body a lot better in the last few weeks. Knew his sensitive spots and had yet to get used to the way he felt against his skin. Had yet to get used to his intoxicating smell and how his eyes made him feel.  
  
In that moment he felt like he hadn’t held Hoseok enough in that time, while he was so busy making him fall apart in the best ways possible.  
Hoseok’s strong arms were gentle around his waist and he buried his face in Minhyuk’s neck.  
And Minhyuk wondered what would happen if he never got tired of him?  
If they never got tired of each other?  
  
Hoseok was a lot calmer when they let go and he smiled at him, thanked him even, but Minhyuk couldn’t be at ease.  
  
When they walked out of the bathroom he held Hoseok’s hand in his. Wanted to steal another kiss before they went to bed.  
He silently closed the door behind himself and was about to lean in to Hoseok, when he saw the look on his face.  
Hoseok was like frozen on the spot, his lips slightly parted and his eyes fixed on something.  
Minhyuk followed his gaze and there was Kihyun, standing in the doorframe to the kitchen, a glass of water in his hand, staring back at them.  
His hair was a ruffled up mess, his eyes small from sleep. He looked half asleep, but there was no doubt that he did the math in his head.  
The way he looked between them and the way he didn’t say anything. Minhyuk’s heart was frozen, too.

“I’m...” Kihyun started talking, then shook his head, confusion drawn on his face. He looked at Minhyuk, then at Hoseok and to the bathroom door. “Shit...for real?”

“Listen, Kihyun,” Minhyuk said. “Let’s talk about this tomorrow.”  
His voice was panicky and he could hear Hoseok swallow.  
  
“Oh fuck,” Kihyun said, stroking his hair back and nodding slowly, still in disbelief. “Okay, yeah, tomorrow.”

Hoseok looked just as terrified as Minhyuk felt.  
  
Back in their rooms Minhyuk knew he wouldn’t get any sleep that night when he pulled his blanket up to his chin.  
  
Maybe he didn’t fuck up as subtly as he thought.  
Maybe he’d fucked up real bad this time.


	3. THREE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was so damn stuck with this trash fic... so that's why I switched to Hoseok's POV at some point in this chapter.  
> pls just go with it and pretend that's how stories work lmao I'm so sorry!!

_♥ The word boyfriend ghosted through Hoseok’s mind again and it made his head swirl ♥_

 

 

“So it’s what I think it is,” Kihyun said, staring at Minhyuk. He was still in disbelief and his eyes had something disappointed and stressed, but also something gossipy in them.  
Hoseok wasn’t there. He did what he always did when he was stressed; worked out in the studio, lifting weights, doing push-ups and pull-ups and whatever else it was that built his body.  
  
Minhyuk preferred having this talk with Kihyun alone anyway. Maybe it would be less awkward this way.  
They sat at the kitchen table and talked just quiet enough so the others wouldn’t hear them in the living room. Not that they cared much.  
  
Minhyuk buried his head in his hands and said, “I don’t know what it is, okay?”  
  
“I don’t need details, I just,” Kihyun sighed loudly. “Shit, you know this is bad Karma. You know the rules. I didn’t think keeping your hands off your bandmates was a hard one to be honest.”  
  
“I didn’t plan to...but Hoseok...”  
Minhyuk didn’t know where he wanted to go with that thought. Kihyun just stared at him, trying to understand.  
  
“I can’t tell you what to do, but I swear to god if this affects the group-“  
  
“I think I like him,” Minhyuk heard himself say.  
  
“What?”  
  
“See, he just needed someone to fool around with,” Minhyuk sighed with his head back in his hands. “And I was there and it was quite perfect actually, because he’s so hot when he’s-“  
  
“God please spare me.”  
  
“I think I like him,” Minhyuk repeated.

Kihyun looked at him with a puzzled expression, before it slowly turned into sympathy.  
  
“This can’t be true,” he sighed. “You’re falling for him?”  
  
“You have no idea,” Minhyuk whined.  

“Our Wonho?”  
  
Minhyuk just nodded.  
  
“I didn’t mean to.”

Kihyun closed his eyes for a long moment, taking a deep breath and Minhyuk watched him as if he just asked his mother for some extra money.  
Then Kihyun opened his eyes and his features softened a little.  
  
“What do you wanna hear? I don’t understand how this is happening... like at all... but I won’t be the one who fucks it up for you. Just don’t let it become a group issue!”  
  
“So you’ll keep it to yourself?”  
  
“I mean, what other choice do i have?”

“You could turn this into a scandal. You could make Hoseok cry and I’d have to punch you. You could make me hate you forever...”  
  
“Exactly.” Kihyun sighed.

   
Minhyuk looked at him for another moment, studying Kihyun’s face and there was sincerity on it and some confusion, but it was okay. Nothing to be too worried about.  
  
A weight was lifted off his chest when he relaxed in his chair and then he couldn’t help but grin widely at Kihyun.  
“Thanks man,” he beamed. “You’re really the best!”  
  
“I know,” Kihyun sighed. “But no sentimental hugging or whatever. You have Hoseok for that now.”  
  
It was difficult not to hug him when he tried so hard to look annoyed, but there was so much fondness dripping in his eyes at the same time, so Minhyuk just laughed a loud laugh.  
He couldn’t wait to tell Hoseok that everything was fine.  
For now.  
  
  
They barely found quiet moments to spend together though.  
Their schedule was packed and it felt like they spent more time on planes and in hotel rooms than staying in one place and while it was somewhat exciting, Minhyuk missed being in the dorm.  
Minhyuk missed having Hoseok to himself, especially when he looked so far away sometimes.

 

  
  
**PART 2: HOSEOK**  


Hoseok had been told that he was one of a kind.  
  
That he was hard to look away from and that he definitely caught people’s eyes on the streets.  
The sort of guy to inspire late night poems and chaotic doodles in sketchbooks and yes, it made his chest swell up with pride whenever someone called him handsome, but all those things didn’t mean shit when he couldn’t live up to their wild expectations.  
  
 At some point they’d see his true self and realize that he was nothing but a fragile boy trying to be a hero and needing to be watered like a plant.  
All the infatuation would turn to thin air when they were confronted with just another human being, yes, a pretty one who took care of his body and face and decorated himself with pretty clothes, but nevertheless a human being.  
And then he always remained barely a few lines in a poem when people moved on without ever getting too close.  
  
So it was a journey of patience and trust to let Minhyuk into his life.  
 Into his heart and under his skin, where he spent so much time lately.  
It was difficult to concentrate on his life nowadays and keep a clear head when Minhyuk seemed to be in it 24/7.  
But he wouldn’t complain because his friend, bandmate, boyfriend- whatever he was- was one of a kind, too.  
Hoseok didn’t dare to call it dating, didn’t even dare to think the word boyfriend yet, because everything was still so fresh and they were still unsure and exploring and nobody needed to know about it.  
It was bad enough that Kihyun had found out and even though it’s been a few weeks since then, Hoseok still had trouble looking him in the eyes sometimes.  
  
They were currently in a state of excitement and infatuation, a place where things were okay just the way they were, without a name whatsoever.  
And now and then Hoseok wondered who’d be the first one to ask questions, but for now it was alright.  
Because nothing made him feel like Minhyuk did.  
  
He was there by his side when Hoseok felt insecure in interviews and his pure presence made his muscles relax and his heart beat a little faster, always a little excited.  
And Minhyuk knew when Hoseok needed a calming hand on his shoulder on broadcast or a reassuring smile from across the room during photo-shoots.  
There was something motherly in the way he cared for him, the way his smile turned softer when his eyes met Hoseok’s and the way he so often said the right things at the right time.

It was exhausting to be an idol sometimes. To keep up his smile all day long, even on days when his thoughts felt too big for his head and when he felt too much like crying for the smallest of reasons.  
But with his six boys by his side it was okay.  
Sometimes he’d just be a little quiet and let the others take over while he tried to refill his energies and he was grateful when Minhyuk talked a little more and bloomed as an entertainer and somehow still managed to check in with Hoseok from time to time.  
  
And Hoseok knew he was needy. He needed Minhyuk’s attention and care and reassurance in form of sweet words whispered backstage and his tender hand on his thigh when they drove from a venue back to the dorm.  
  
That’s where they were on a Friday night.  
In the back of their van, driving through dark city streets back from the airport. They’d spent a week in Japan, different concerts every other evening and lots of interviews during the days and now they had a few days to rest.  
  
And Hoseok felt weird. A dull uncomfortable feeling in his chest, something like sadness, nostalgia maybe; a feeling that made itself at home in him too often lately.  
 It usually knocked on his door when he thought a little too much about life itself and tried not to think about his own too much because it was too beautiful to handle at its best and tragically overwhelming at its worst.  
 And it wasn’t necessarily a bad feeling, it was just there and Hoseok wasn’t at war with his emotions. If they wanted to spend some time with him, he didn’t want to throw them out.  
  
Now he was mostly overwhelmed, a tiny bit sad and regretful when he thought about all the imperfections of the past week and all the missed opportunities.  When he thought about how Minhyuk could leave him at any moment, when he finally figured out that Hoseok wasn’t as exciting as people thought.  
When he finally grew tired of touching his body.

And like usually, Minhyuk was by his side and he knew. It wasn’t just their special connection that told him how Hoseok felt. It was the fact that Hoseok didn’t hide it from their little group and was rather bad at holding back his emotions, so they all knew when he was down.  
And every single one of them cared for him in their own ways. And right now they chose to let him be with his feelings and to smile at him from time to time, but they were tired too and he could see it in their eyes.  
  
They all were so imperfect and young and stupid and sometimes they clashed with each other or themselves, but they all gave their best in any given circumstance and helped each other through the worst of a storm.  
Hoseok thought about how strong his boys were and it made him want to tear up again.

“Hey,” a soft voice interrupted his train of thought.  
Only now did Hoseok notice that Minhyuk’s hand had found his thigh again, carefully caressing him.  
“You okay?”

“I’m alright,” he smiled, “it always feels weird to come back to Korea.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” Minhyuk hummed. “I can’t believe that was a whole week. It feels like we only just landed in Japan.”

“Maybe we have and time isn’t real,” Hoseok said and Minhyuk smiled softly.  
  
“Maybe.”  
  
Hoseok couldn’t get that heavy feeling out of his chest, but he put his hand on Minhyuk’s and it was alright, because they sat in the back of the van and most of the others were passed out anyway. It was comforting though, like they talked through their touch.  
Hoseok squeezed Minhyuk’s hand a little tighter and Minhyuk drew slow circles with his thumb on the back of his hand.

And he wanted to tell Minhyuk that he didn’t want to be alone, but Minhyuk already knew.  
He also wanted to tell him that it sometimes felt like he lost little pieces of himself in the rush of their schedules and on the damn fast flights, but Minhyuk knew that too.  
And it would feel way too pretentious to say it out loud anyway.

When they arrived at the dorm late at night, the others just fell into their beds and Hoseok was pretty sure that he didn’t even see any of them washing up properly, but he couldn’t blame them.  
  
His thighs were still sore from dancing and he was tired, too, but there was a stiff feeling in his bones. Something anxious in every muscle and the pure thought of lying down made it worse.  
Minhyuk stayed awake with him. He didn’t seem as uneasy as Hoseok, but didn’t make any attempt to go to sleep either.  
  
They were both in the bathroom and he watched Minhyuk brushing his teeth. And he took his time, so Hoseok watched him patiently from where he sat on the closed toilet lid.

“I’m sorry, Minhyukie,” he mumbled.  
  
“For what?” he said with his mouth full of toothpaste.  
  
“For being like this,” Hoseok whispered. “For keeping you up.”  
  
Minhyuk looked at him through the mirror for a moment and then he took his time spitting out and cleaning his toothbrush.  
  
“I wanna stay up with you though,” he said casually. “We haven’t had time to ourselves in forever.”  
  
Hoseok felt a tingling in his stomach.  
Right.  
That was a thing that happened whenever Minhyuk’s voice got this special undertone. This ‘I care for you’ tone. It made Hoseok weak in the knees sometimes, but right now he was sitting down, so he managed somehow.  
  
“You were the one who insisted on sharing a room with Hyunwoo,” Hoseok mumbled, even quieter, bitterness seething under his breath.  
  
Minhyuk just finished washing his face and dried it with a towel, before he turned around and looked at him. In disbelief for a moment, but incredibly tender the next.  
  
“I’m just being professional,” he defended himself. “We wouldn’t have gotten any sleep.”  
  
Hoseok felt his cheeks heat up and Minhyuk’s eyes had that spark in them. That knowing spark that sent shivers down Hoseok’s spine every damn time.  
Hoseok wanted to tell him how much he loved to fall asleep next to him and that he just felt saver with Minhyuk in the room, but he didn’t get the words past his lips.  
 It was too much.  
He wasn’t sure if their secret contract forbid cheesy confessions of fondness, but he had a feeling it did.  
  
“I missed you,” he then breathed out.  Good enough.  
  
Minhyuk looked at him for a moment, calculating. Then he smiled and without any warning whatsoever he pulled his shirt over his head.  
  
“I really need a shower,” he smiled. “Wanna join?”  
  
The heat in Hoseok’s head spread through his whole body now. He watched Minhyuk’s fingers fumble around on his belt.  
  
“It’s literally four in the morning,” Hoseok stumbled over his words.  
  
“So?” Minhyuk smiled. “Night showers are the best medicine for loneliness.”  
That’s what his voice said. But his eyes said ‘we don’t get this chance everyday’ and it made Hoseok’s heart race.  
  
He stood up and checked the door. Locked.  
It was him and Minhyuk now. The rest of the dorm asleep, maybe the rest of the whole city as well.  
And he remembered how fucking lonely he’d felt for days and even now. How weird and sad and how nothing made him feel like Minhyuk did.  
  
“I need you,” he whined quietly, while Minhyuk pulled him close to him, his fingers stroking a few of Hoseok’s hair out of his face, cupping his cheek and nodding.  
  
“I know, Hyung,” he said. “It’s alright.”  
  
Hoseok would never get enough of the way Minhyuk kissed him.  It was loving and soft, yet confident and always so curious. A whole damn adventure just between their lips.  
He took a bit of control and Hoseok let himself melt under his hands. Let the butterflies take over his tummy and his body relax into Minhyuk’s touch while he kissed his lips a little needier than he wanted.  
It was one of those nights where time just seemed to slow down for them and all that mattered were Minhyuk’s hands on his body, sliding down his sides, carefully helping him out of his sweater.  
He took a moment to admire Hoseok’s toned torso, his abs, letting his glance wander up and down.

“Look at you,” he inhaled sharply. “I’ll never get used to this.”  
  
Hoseok felt the heat in his cheeks and tried to look away, but Minhyuk didn’t let him off the hook that easily.  
He reached out to touch Hoseok’s chest, to feel him up and down, letting his fingertips skim over every muscle and smooth skin and the trimmed trail of hair that led right into Hoseok’s pants.  
Then back up again.  
Brushing over his nipples and getting a little caught up playing with one, letting his thumb roll over it.  
Hoseok felt hot and more frustrated with the second. He was rock hard in his sweatpants, pretty much from the moment Minhyuk had taken off his shirt.  
The need was everywhere in the small bathroom and in Hoseok’s body and it made it difficult to breathe.  
  
Minhyuk babbled his little praises under his breath. Something about “so handsome, Hyung,” and “I’m so lucky...”  
Hoseok’s heart rebelled when Minhyuk went back to kissing him, kissing his neck, sucking soft wet marks onto his skin.  
Humming too close to his ear, things that made Hoseok melt.  
He was such a simple guy after all. When Minhyuk called him baby, he was a goner. As simple as that.  
And he did.  
 Called him names that were exclusive for moments like this when the heat between them melted most of their rational thoughts.  
When they acted like what they were doing was alright. Acting like they weren’t idols, weren’t colleagues and acting like it was no big deal to want each other like this.  
  
Nobody needed to know how Hoseok’s body and mind reacted to praise and honey-sweet words. Nobody needed to know that he turned into a needy mess when Minhyuk let worship fall from his lips like everything was so easy.  
 Touched him this softly, made his voice drip with a mixture of shameless lust and infinite fondness. It was a strong mixture and Hoseok was ready to get drunk on it.

“Were you jealous, baby?” Minhyuk hummed. “When I shared the room with Hyunwoo?”  
His hand found its way to the waistband of Hoseok’s sweatpants, casually.  
  
Hoseok swallowed, thought about lying awake in his and Hyungwon’s hotel room, missing Minhyuk and feeling so alone.  The feeling squeezed at his lungs again. He nodded.  
  
“Silly,” Minhyuk smiled. He let his hand brush past the waistband now, down, and let his fingers ghost over the tent in Hoseok’s sweatpants. Just a barely there touch, making Hoseok swallow down his need.  
Then he started stroking him over the fabrics slowly- illegally slowly.  
“You’re the only one I’m doing this with,” Minhyuk said in a matter of fact tone.  “Don’t you know that?”  
  
Hoseok nodded again, pulling Minhyuk a little closer by his waist, making it so easy for Minhyuk to grab around him and let his hands roam his bare back, pressing him closer against himself.  
Minhyuk was in only his briefs and Hoseok needed more, needed closer.  
He understood.  
  
“Let’s get in, you’re getting all cold.”  
  
Minhyuk casually stripped out of his briefs and stepped into the shower, left Hoseok standing outside dumbfounded for a moment.  
Then he got rid of his clothes, too, and joined him.  
He’d missed his warmth in that short time and once there was also the warm water falling down on them, he felt the need take over him again.

Feeling Minhyuk’s naked body close to his was one of his favourite things on earth. And they had to hide away in the bathroom quite often, when the rooms were full of sleeping bodies and the living room too damn dangerous.  The bathroom felt like home to Hoseok, but it also felt so damn temporary.  
 Always reminded him that what they had couldn’t possibly last. How could something last that was barely allowed to exist outside of the bathroom?  
  
Minhyuk looked stunning with his wet hair brushed back, his eyebrows sharp and a little smile on his face, both confident and inviting.  
The word boyfriend ghosted through Hoseok’s mind again and it made his head swirl. In the late hours of the night and under the hot stream of water, with Minhyuk’s body this close to his, this raw and naked for him, it was difficult not to be scared of losing it all.  But what if asking for them to be exclusive would be the very thing that destroyed what they had?  
  
 He knew Minhyuk wasn’t getting intimate with other people this way, but the pure thought of not being enough for him one day made Hoseok’s muscles tense.  
  
Hoseok felt wet hands on his waist, pulling him closer, until their bodies were flush together under the water and Hoseok leant back against the cold tiles, unsure how to stand on his own.  
  
“What’s on your mind, baby?” Minhyuk breathed. His fingers skimming down Hoseok’s sides, feeling over the swell of muscles here and soft skin there.  
While Hoseok tried to think of words to say that wouldn’t break the spell they were under, Minhyuk stayed busy touching his body, leaning in close and suckling on Hoseok’s neck, brushing his nose in the nape of his neck and humming all too comfortably.  
  
“Nothing much,” Hoseok lied and with featherlike touches he claimed Minhyuk’s lips again and the kiss quickly became greedy and impatient, open mouthed and tongue on tongue with water trying to get between them, but failing miserably.  
Hoseok felt his own hips pushing against Minhyuk, who kept him pressed against the wet tiles, handling him with a mixture of care and shameless want.  
  
A moan slipped Hoseok’s tongue when one of Minhyuk’s hands squeezed his ass, his fingers digging into the flesh and their lengths squeezed together between them.  
Hoseok wouldn’t mind Minhyuk getting a little more possessive of him, a little rougher than he was. Maybe just to make him entirely unable to think of anything at all.  
Maybe just to make things feel a little realer.  
A little less like one of those slow paced wet dreams he sometimes had, where he was safe and wanted and everything was warm and nothing was wrong, just to wake up and get hit by reality like it’s a brick to the face.  
  
But Minhyuk was here now and the night gave them space and time and Hoseok’s thoughts became less complicated when Minhyuk was working him loose with a bit of lube while Hoseok steadied himself with his arms on the wet tiles.  
Shower sex was so underrated.  
 It didn’t deserve its bad reputation, because when Minhyuk held his hips in a firm grip and the warm water poured down on them, Hoseok felt hot and content. And it never failed to amaze him how skilled Minhyuk’s fingers were and how he somehow managed to multitask when it came to pleasuring Hoseok.  
He had one arm wrapped around Hoseok to slowly stroke him and stimulate him while his fingers filled him up carefully.  
And the hardest part was trying to keep standing on his feet, his eyes closed, the water so warm and comforting and the fog around them making him feel a little dizzy.  
  
“Can you,” Hoseok breathed out and interrupted himself with an uncontrolled moan when Minhyuk’s thumb rolled over his tip. “Do you wanna...in here?”  
  
“I wanna,” Minhyuk sucked a soft kiss onto Hoseok’s shoulder. “Wait a second.”

Hoseok didn’t want to wait a second. Missed Minhyuk’s touch the moment he stepped out of the shower and got half the bathroom floor wet. Hoseok closed his eyes and enjoyed the hot water, while Minhyuk searched the shelves for a condom.  
  
“Hurry,” he mumbled and only heard a delightful chuckle from the other side of the shower curtain.  
  
When Minhyuk was back behind him he teased him about his neediness for a moment, but Hoseok didn’t care.  
  
The wait was so worth it when Minhyuk filled him up so perfectly and slowly moved his hips behind him and Hoseok stroked himself just as slowly and it was so difficult to keep quiet.

“Is the water too hot?” Minhyuk murmured, a hand sliding down Hoseok’s back, resting at his hips, grabbing at his ass ever so gently.  
  
“It’s perfect,” Hoseok moaned.  
  
And while Minhyuk fucked him slow and good and while Hoseok tried his best to muffle his moans into his arm and while the water was just at the edge of stinging a little on his back, things felt good.  
For a moment, he really thought they could have it all.  
  
And when Hoseok came, his legs tried to give in, but Minhyuk was there to steady him, to stroke him through his climax and to whisper reassuring praises behind him.  
There was a buzzing in his ears and his body was shaky when he turned around and they kissed for minutes, wasting water and energy and getting a little lost in each other.   
Hoseok’s back started to feel chilly where he was pressed against the tiles now and Minhyuk was so hard in his hand and there was so much pride in Hoseok when he sank down to his knees for Minhyuk, sucking him off just as slowly and listening to his tortured groans.  
Only Minhyuk could make him feel this good and useful on his knees, slim fingers stroking Hoseok’s wet hair back and making him look up at him.  
  
“I missed you too,” he breathed and his thumb caressed Hoseok’s hollowed out cheek, before he gave in and let his quiet moans will the bathroom.  
And Hoseok wanted to burst with pride.  


  
  
They didn’t go back into their room just yet.

  
Hoseok wasn’t good at these kinds of relationships where you pretty much run after sex. He’d tried it in the past and it just wasn’t his thing. Made him feel empty and self conscious when he couldn’t spend the afterglow with his partner. Needed to be close to them and feel their warmth.  
And maybe it was the same for Minhyuk, or maybe he just did it because he knew Hoseok too well, but they were cuddled up on the sofa in the middle of the night, tucked into a thin fluffy blanket and their hair still damp.  
  
“It’s weird that Kihyun knows,” Hoseok whispered, his head resting on Minhyuk’s shoulder and his fingers playing with Minhyuk’s hand.  
  
“Why?”  
  
“Don’t know,” he mumbled. “It’s scary that it’s out of our control.”  
  
Minhyuk hummed and squeezed Hoseok’s warm hand. “It’s nobody’s business.”  
  
“Yeah, but... how can you trust people?”  
  
“I don’t,” Minhyuk huffed and Hoseok wondered how he could be so relaxed about it all.  
Minhyuk stayed quiet for a moment and when Hoseok thought he might have fallen asleep up there, he talked again.  
“Listen.  You have to tell me if you’re done with this,” Minhyuk said. “Because I’m not going anywhere if you don’t tell me to.”  
  
That’s when Hoseok sat up to look at Minhyuk. He hadn’t seen him this serious in quite a while and it was a bit intimidating, but mostly because Hoseok had no idea what this expression meant.  
  
“How can you risk everything...just for sex?” Hoseok asked and there was a thick lump in his throat.  
  
“Is that what you think?” Minhyuk asked back, a bitter undertone in his voice. “You think I’m just some horny dude who needs someone to fuck?”  
  
Hoseok didn’t say a thing. Swallowed and waited.  
  
When Minhyuk spoke again, his voice was careful and he rubbed Hoseok’s hand between his, warming it up again.  
  
“I would never... use you,” he said and then smiled. “I care for you so damn much.”

  
Hoseok nodded.  
“I care for you too.”  
  
“That’s not what I mean. Do you know why Kihyun accepted any of this in the first place?”  
  
“I have no idea,” Hoseok sighed.  
  
“Because i told him that I’m falling in love with you, Hoseok.” Minhyuk’s voice was choked up as if he was fighting a lump in his throat, too. “I’m not risking anything for just sex. I just don’t wanna go back to acting like I don’t have feelings for you. Unless that’s what you want...”  
  
“No.” Hoseok breathed out.  
  
He let Minhyuk pull him close against his chest and his fingers stroked over the stubbles at his nape. It sent shivers down Hoseok’s back.  
  
“We’ll figure it out,” Minhyuk hummed and kissed the crown of Hoseok’s head and somehow he believed him.  
And he nearly did what he always did. Nearly let Minhyuk get away with a vague solution like this. Nearly fell into the habit of blindly following him wherever he was going. But Hoseok’s heart wasn’t satisfied yet.  
So he took a deep breath and all his courage and he looked at Minhyuk, interlaced their fingers under the blanket.  
  
“You know what I really want?” he asked and his voice didn’t sound half as confident as he wanted it to, but it was good enough.  
  
“No,” Minhyuk hummed. “Tell me.”  
  
“I want you to be my boyfriend.” Hoseok could hear his pulse in his ears and his hand got a little sweaty in Minhyuk’s, but he waited.  
Minhyuk stared at him and then his features softened.  
  
“I can do that, yeah,” he smiled. “I’d like that.”  
  
Hoseok let go off his breath and leaned back into Minhyuk’s arms.

“We’ll figure it out?” Hoseok asked and only now did he realize how heavy his eyelids had gotten and how sore his body felt from all the work.  
  
Minhyuk squeezed him closer.  
  
“We’ll figure it out.”  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if this was disappointing... I honestly have no idea what I'm doing :))

**Author's Note:**

> so this is my first mx fic and I kinda wrote the first chap on one day and barely looked over it... I'm sorry for that.  
> I just didn't wanna wait til I hate it and not post it u kno... :/  
> it's probably gonna be 2 or 3 chapters.
> 
> Please tell me if you liked it ♥


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